I should write a book...

Really! I should fill it with quips and anecdotes about life and people.
I work in the food biz...as a food server (PC) or a waitress (old school). I prefer working as a bartender but hey, watcha gonna do!
I don't work at an upscale place, I work at a casual dining, good food place. The location is somewhat eclectic to say the least. This makes the clientele come from a wide range of demographics.
I had a very funny shift last Saturday night. Probably the most fun shift I have had in a long time. It started something like this:
First funny table: Mom, Dad and 11ish year old son.
I approach the table and do my spiel for drinks. The father asks if we have clam strips on the kids menu. I reply that we do not carry clam strips. He asks me if there are clam strips in the regular menu. I look at him, quizzically, as his wife blurts out! What don't you understand??? They DO NOT HAVE CLAM STRIPS!!!
I had to just smile...talk about active listening/hearing.
Second funny table: Mom, Dad and 12ish daughter.
I go to the table and start their meal service. The daughter has the most impeccable manners. Can I clone her? Can we have her do workshops for other disorderly kids? The daughter has ordered kids alfredo noodles. "first clue"
Their food arrives and I check back. The parents say their meal is OK but the mother prompts her daughter. "go ahead", she says. The daughter says, in the most perfect tone; "Excuse me, but I do not care for these noodles. May I have something else?" How perfect....How can I not resist and give her whatever she desires. She has better manners than most adults. I manage to say, "Why yes you may. What is it that you would rather have?" Again she replies with the best manners..."May I please have the kids fish and chips?"
What a delight. Can I say I like manners. I appreciate well mannered adults and children. I really, really do. I had to compliment her on her manners and thank the parents. Obviously, someone is taking the time to teach this child life skills.
Okay...third funny table...and the last for today.
Hunky twentysomething motorcycle jacket (crotch rocket) wearing cutie son and Mom and Dad...
I cannot go on without warning you of mature innuendo coming up.
While I am at the table taking their food order the hunky son asks why are there two prices on listed with the chowders? Is this for sizes?
To this I reply, "Yes, we have two sizes of chowders. One is a cup and one is a bowl."
Hunky: Well, how big is the bowl and how big is the cup?
Me: (listen carefully)  Well, the cup is 6 Inches and the bowl is 12 ounces...I very quickly stammered.
I think I saw Dad snicker and Hunky son hesitate a minute...Ooops.
I know my face got red. Never had that happen before.
YIKES!
But that was a fun night...one of the reasons that I love working in the industry. It is the people. I should have known though...my next shift was a nightmare. Can you say VEGANAISSE???